The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Servant
by Blade of Gallade
Summary: Dannos is your average twili. That is until he gets a job serving the queen of the twilight realm Midna. If only he knew what she had in store for him. CONTAINS SCAT! DEFINITELY NOT FOR E FOR EVERONE!
1. Chapter 1

_It was your normal crappy morning... Or whatever you call the time of day in the twilight realm, the place finally being at peace with the evil Zant having been defeated years ago. Now all there was..._

 _Was to apply for the job._

 _"_ Dannos." A tall Twili male called out, looking at his futuristic-y clipboard with a list of names on it.

"Here for the job" A twili said, walking up to the taller one nervously.

"You? You seem a little young of a twili for a job so serious."

The taller twili was right, Dannos was a little young, looking as if he was fresh out of his first year at twili university. If that's even a thing. In contrast to the depressed expressions if the other twili in the realm, Dannos had quite the range of emotions other than sorrowful moans now and then.

"Well, the job was open.." Dannos said, scratching the back of his head smiling sheepishly.

"Whatever, I really don't care, kid. You're in."

The tall twili snapped his fingers and and a large shadow of a hand came over Dannos.

"Wait, what the heck's-"

Dannos was interrupted, suddenly being grabbed by a Zant hand (That was no longer under the control of Zant) and getting carried off into the twili realm's castle.

Dannos was dropped off by the hand in front of two grand doors, before it pushed the doors opening, revealing a throne room before Dannos, the Zant hand then flying away.

"You may enter" A woman's voice called out from within the throne room.

Dannos entered the large throne room, and sitting on the throne in a rather relaxed manner was none other than the ruler of the twilight realm, Midna.

"So you're here for the job opening I believe? She asked, one of her legs thrown over the arm of the throne.

"Y-yes, my queen." Dannos said bowing, "Dannos, at your service."

There was complete silence and Dannos began to sweat, when suddenly the Midna began to burst out in laughter, almost falling out of the throne in the process.

Dannos looked up at Midna slightly embarrassed at how chillax the literal QUEEN of the twilight realm was, and she was not what he expected of a queen in more ways than one. She had long, orange hair and purple lips, a pair of rather large breasts and most noticeable of all were her wide hips and even larger ass. which raised a question...

"Umm... My queen..?" Dannos asked nervously

"Huh? Oh, yeah what is it?" She asked, calming herself down.

"I just wondered, exactly... Don't you usually wear.. Y'know... like a toga or some kind of robe...?"

Midna looked at her two breasts, then downward to her exposed crotch before relaxing again in her throne.

"Well I didn't as an Imp. Just thought I might try something new!" Midna said, rising out of her throne walking towards Dannos, the ruler of the Twilight realm being the size of an amazonian warrior, Dannos head only rising to about the height of her breasts, before she leaned forward looking Dannos in his eyes inches from his face. "It also helps me feel a lot less restricted." She said seductively.

The two were quiet again before Midna started laughing once more, clearly trying to mess with Dannos, who only blushed and slightly turned away in response.

"And c'mon! You work for me now Dannos! Just call me Midna!" She said, continuing her laughter before suddenly letting out a long, loud fart.

The room fell quiet once more, Dannos suddenly noticing the terrible scent of burnt hotdogs filling his nostrils.

"Hah, sorry about that! I've gotta try to hold back a little, it being your first day and all..." Midna said blushing, waving her hand over her butt, another small fart vibrating out of her ass.

"Hey, don't sweat it, Midna.." Dannos said, trying to act casual.

"C'mon Dannos, as my new assistant, I shall give you the honor of following me to your new sleeping quarters." Midna said heading to the door.

"What?"

"Follow me to your room."

"Oh"

And Dannos then followed Midna further into the castle, regretting walking behind her as she continued to let out more of her loud, smelly farts.


	2. Chapter 2

It was Dannos' second day working in the Twlilight realm castle under Midna, getting up out of his bed and heading over to the throne room, only to find it was completely empty.

"Umm, any of you guys know where Midna went?" Dannos asked, looking back at some other Twili workers going about their business in the castle.

"Queen Midna requests your presence in the viewing room Dannos." Said the same tall Twili Dannos had met the day before. "Good luck"

"Thanks man...?" Dannos said, going in the direction of the viewing room, wondering exactly what the Twili meant by "good luck".

Dannos entered a carpeted room with a large tv on the wall, the other side of the room having a large, curved couch with glowing blue Twili marks on it. Sitting in the middle of this couch was the beautiful Midna, snacking on a bowl of popcorn on her lap.

"Well good morning, sleepy head" Midna said to Dannos sarcastically, "C'mon, lets watch something together"

"T-thanks, Midna." Dannos said, trying to get used to the queen's laid back nature.

He sat next to Midna, the tall female Twili sitting right next to him. The two were watching Futurama, albeit all the characters were Twilis (With the exception of Bender).

"Dannos I swear this is the most hilarious show I've ever seen" Midna said to Dannos, bursting out laughing, "Oh change the channel! I'm gonna pee myself!" She said, wiping a tear from her eye.

Midna reached into her bowl of popcorn that appeared empty, then stood up.

"Imma go get us a few more snacks, sounds cool?" She said calmly, turning in the direction of a nearby kitchen.

"Wait but Im YOUR assistant Midna! I should be serving you!" Dannos said to Midna, getting confused as to why he was being treated so nicely.

"It really doesn't bother me!" Midna said, walking towards the kitchen, "You're more of a friend to me, Dannos."

Dannos thought to himself about Midna, slightly blushing that he, a commoner was so close to her, the ruler of all Twili. Yet his thoughts were soon interrupted by a strange, warm smell filling the air. Following the scent, Dannos turned to face where Midna had been sitting to find a large, wet area on the couch, the source of the smell

"What the... She really wasn't kidding that she'd pee herself if I didn't change the channel.." Dannos thought to himself, finding the female Twili's accident on the couch a little humorous.

"Dannos... Come in here..." Midna's voice called out faintly from within the kitchen.

Dannos jumped from the couch and sprinted over to the kitchen, stopping as he saw Midna crossing her legs and wrapping her arms around her stomach.

"Midna! W-whats wrong!? Do you need me to get help?" Dannos asked, trying not to panic.

"Ooh~...I'm not feeling so hot all of a sudden.." She said, her stomach gurgling in the process, "I feel bloated.. Would you mind giving me a hand here..?"

"Of course not, here I got an idea"


	3. Chapter 3

"So you really think that this will help..?" Midna asked Dannos nervously, lying down on a table in a room lit with bright Twili-like lanterns.

"I'm positive. Just sit back and relax, Midna." Dannos responded, "I'm a pro with this stuff, you probably have a few muscle cramps or something."

"Y-Yeah... Muscle cramps.." Midna mumbled to herself.

Turning around to massage Midna, Dannos froze, directly viewing Midna's massive butt, without any panties on revealing a cyan Twili marking around her anus. A little bizarre...

"Uhh... Midna...?" Dannos asked, stepping back from her derriere.

"What's up?" She responded, looking back at Dannos casually

"You wouldn't mind... Putting on some clothes for the massage, would you...?" He asked nervously

"*sigh* FINE." Midna said impatiently, summoning out of thin air a pair of small dark blue panties, putting them on, then lying back down on the table. "Can we please go on now?"

"Y-yeah, of course.." Dannos responded.

Coming towards Midna, Dannos first gently placed his two hands on her shoulders, slowly rubbing her upper back. Midna moaned with pleasure, both embarrassing and arousing Dannos at the same time. He tried to keep his focus, closing his eyes and continuing to rub Midna's back.

"Yeah... This feels great... Ooh, go a little lower... Yes..." Midna spoke quietly, in complete bliss from Dannos' massaging.

Breaking the silence, Midna suddenly let out a loud fart, puffing the back of her panties slightly. Ignoring this, Dannos regained his focus and continued performing his massage, going lower (reluctantly) as Midna had requested.

"Ooooooh yeeaaaahh... I'm in heaven..." Midna said, "Right there Dannos... Aaah this is perfect.."

Opening his eyes, Dannos nearly jumped noticing that he was now massaging the two globular butt-cheeks of Queen Midna, his two hands sinking into her warm, soft flesh. Grunting, Midna released another loud fart which caused her butt to vibrate, the terrible stench hitting Dannos in the face.

"Yes... Ooh... A little more..." Midna moaned, biting her lower lip in satisfaction.

Dannos continued his massage, until finally Midna had let out another rumbling fart, this time growing extremely wet in the process. Looking down at the butt he was massaging, Dannos heard a loud squashing sound as a large, mushy bulge formed on the back of Midna's panties, the room filling with a horrible scent in the process.

"Aaaah yessss~... I feel like a million rupees!" Midna said, turning to face Dannos, who only looked on in shock.

"Umm, Midna... I think you might have gotten a little... Too relaxed" Dannos said, pointing to her large buttocks.

Midna got up from her lying down position and looked back at her panties, a large bulge in the back of them, her letting out another long fart in the process.

"Oh... Sorry about that... It's a little bad habit of mine..." Midna said, blushing. "Well, I think someone's due for a little changing Dannos."

" _A WHAT?"_ Dannos asked, scared of what Midna had planned for him.

Midna went back to lying on the table, this time on her back as she lifted her legs into the air like an infant. She grunted before releasing another gross fart, the bulge on her panties growing lumpier.

"You heard me Dannos~" She said calmly, pointing at a cabinet behind Dannos.

Dannos turned to the cabinet, looking inside to see rolls of toilet paper. He moaned to himself, taking a roll out and approaching Midna, who continued to fart loudly. Gently, Dannos lifted her massive bottom upwards and removed the navy blue underwear, looking in it and finding a large mass of green muck in it, before placing it aside. Midna's butt crack was slathered in the green colored poop, the horrible smell growing somehow even worse after Dannos had removed her underwear. Dannos slowly began wiping Midna, her giggling like a little child in the process. When he'd turn to dispose of the toilet papers, he'd turn back around to find Midna had accidentally pooped on the table, forcing him to start the cleaning process over again. Finally, her Twili marked asshole was clean, along with the rest of her ass. Of course none of this stopped her from farting.

"Thanks, Dannos. I'm feeling a lot better now.." Midna said, getting up from the table and smiling at Dannos

"Hey, like I said Midna, at your service.." Dannos said, trying to remain calm.

"Well, that suddenly took up the whole day for the sake of plot convenience!" Midna stated, stretching her arms and letting out another deep fart, "I think I'm going to head off to my room for the night, see ya tomorrow!" and with that Midna walked off up a flight of stairs, leaving Dannos in a room that still smelled like shit. Literally.

"Please tell me this is as worst as it'll get.." Dannos moaned to himself, walking through the castle corridors towards his room, opening the door to find the place was completely wrecked.

"WHAT THE LORULE!?" He shouted, looking for any other castle servants, finding another Twili, "How'd my room get like this!?"

"Oh, it was a rogue Zant hand going around the castle, but don't worry about it! We made sure to deactivate that one so we've got nothing to worry about anymore!" He responded calmly, walking off into the castle to continue his night-watch.

Dannos sighed, about to enter his destroyed room when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, turning to see Midna's beautiful face.

"So, this is where they found that Zant hand huh?" She asked in a relaxed manner. "Mmmm... Okay, come with me Dannos." She said, turning and walking further down the corridor.

"Uuuh, okay Midna..." Dannos said, following the Queen.

This was not what he expected.

Dannos found himself in his pajamas, sweat pants and a white shirt lying in a large bed, as he was in Midna's own room. Midna lying in bed snuggling right next to him, flipping through channels on a large flat screened TV on her bedroom wall. Not surprisingly, Midna still lacked any clothes despite being in bed.

"You really didn't have to do this Midna..." Dannos said nervously

"I know" Midna said to Dannos, turning to face him "I just thought I'd do something nice for you. That and I haven't gotten a chance to thank you for your help earlier." She said, leaning in and kissing Dannos on the cheek. "Anyway, I have a bit of work that needs doing tomorrow, good night~!" She said, turning off the lights and TV, turning over and falling asleep.

"Yeah.. Good night." Dannos responded, closing his eyes.

That was when Midna had farted loudly again, causing the bed sheets to puff up, and keep Dannos wide awake with the horrible smell of her constant farts.


	4. Chapter 4

Dannos slowly awakened in Midna's bed, thanks to the scent of her rancid farts, yet after fully opening his eyes he found Midna was nowhere in the room, just a note left on her pillow.

"What do we have here.." Dannos asked himself as he picked up the note and began reading to himself.

 _Well good morning sleepy head. Looks like someone had a good night! Anywho, by the time you get this I'll be out doing some of that "work" I was talking about last night. Kanz should be waiting for you somewhere in the palace to give you chores to do, you know him right? I think he was that Twili you met the 1st day here. So I guess I'll be seeing you later!_

 _\- Midna_

 _P.S. I think you might wanna stay clear of my bathroom until someone can come and clean up in there... Sorry, but I wasn't just going to take a dump in the bed! It was either the bed OR the bathroom and I wasn't going to wake you up LIKE THAT..._

Trying to ignore the disgusting details in Midna's letter, Dannos turned his head and saw the closed bathroom door, a practically visible yellow smog coming from below the door. Then getting up from the bed, Dannos walked out the door of Midna's room to find Kanz.

"So I assume Im gonna have to spend another night in Midna's room huh?.." Dannos quietly asked himself walking down a hallway.

He passed his old room and saw a few floating Zant hands in the midst of reconstructing the destroyed area, that in itself answering his question.

"I guess so then..." Dannos said, sighing as he walked on, quickly bumping into the much taller Kanz.

"'Sup Dannos, how was your morning?" Kanz asked in a friendly manner

"Gross. Felt like I barely got any sleep in that gas chamber." Dannos responded, stretching.

"Well, you'll get used to it after a bit, now, you've been assigned mop duty today" Kanz said, handing Dannos a mop and a bucket.

"Hey... Kanz?" Dannos asked

"What is it?"

"What made Midna... Like THIS..?"

Pausing for a moment, Kanz thought to himself before speaking.

"You see, my father, and the 3 fathers before him have all served under the royal family of the Twilight Realm..." He began, "And so, I've known of Queen Midna for many years Dannos... She's always had rather... Active bowels... And this never seemed to bother the young Queen... I'd go so far to say she was proud of this trait. It was years ago... The king and queen at the time were occupied, there was no one care taking Princess Midna. She was alone, you see, no restrooms, just the floor below her and well... She had to go. So she did. And it grew on her over the years.."

"That was... Informative." Dannos said, scratching the back of his head.

"Fetishes my friend, they never leave you." Kanz said very relaxed, "Now get to it, we all have our work to do and there's no slacking." He finished, turning on his heels and walking off in the other direction.

Dannos sighed, lifted the mop and got straight to work, humming the classic "Fairy's Fountain" song from the Zelda series as he mopped.

It was dusk, and Dannos had finally finished mopping when he decided to head back towards Midna's room for the night, exhausted with every step. Dannos finally arrived, opening the door as he saw Midna sitting on the edge of the bed flicking through TV channels again.

"Well I think you had yourself a good day." Midna said to Dannos tauntingly with a smile on her face.

"I'm starting to wonder if I should have applied for the job opening at Wendy's..." Dannos replied, the two speaking as if they were a long-time married couple.

"D'aaaawwwwww, you love working here~!" Midna said with a giggle, letting out a small fart in the process. "You're covered in sweat, so you better go grab a shower if you think you're gonna sleep in this bed."

"FIIIIINNE MOOOOMMM" Dannos said sarcastically, walking off to the bathroom.

Dannos entered the Twili-marked bathroom (Which still had the faint smell of Midna's butt-bombs) and turned the shower on. He then got right in the hot water and immediately felt the stress of the day get washed off of him, making Dannos feel completely refreshed. While washing himself off he felt something behind him, as if it was...

"Oh no."

"Oh yes~"

Dannos turned to find Midna showering right next to him, the two, both naked in such close proximity filling his mind with dirty thoughts.

"Hope you don't mind, just thought I'd get a quick shower while I had a good chance.." Midna said calmly, turning from Dannos to scrub her hair.

From where he was Dannos could see Midna's massive butt inches from him. Not only was it even bigger than his own torso, but just the thought that someone like him would get the chance to be this close to Queen Midna gave him an instant erection. Wait.

Oh Shit.

"Well Dannos... Someone's happy~" Midna said seductively, turning her head and looking down at Dannos erection, just barely touching her butt. "Y'know, being a Queen, I don't get a lot of time to enjoy things like this..."

Dannos remained completely silent, hoping that this was really happening, hoping that they were about to do what he wanted them to do. Teasingly, Midna lightly rubbed Dannos' erection with her butt-crack.

"But yet again, this isn't the time for that Dannos." Midna finished, farting grossly before bursting out with laughter, having just been teasing Dannos the whole time. Who was now covered in more of her stench.

After getting out the shower, Midna and Dannos were once again lying under the bed sheets, Midna happily watching the TV while Dannos was quiet, feeling a mixture of both humiliation and embarrassment.

"C'mon Dannos, you can't say that wasn't even a little funny!" Midna said, snuggling up to Dannos who remained quiet. "Oooh, I love the silent treatment game... How long can you hold this..."

Staying in her position right next to Dannos Midna grunted, soon a very noticeable sound of something squishing came from beneath the sheets, followed by a few of Midna's gross farts. The room then fell quiet, Midna giving time for the horrible smell of poop to spread. Finally...

"DEAR HYLIA WHAT DID YOU EAT TODAY MIDNA!?" Dannos finally burst out, pinching his nose.

"Well Dannos, looks like I win.." Midna said triumphantly, pulling away from right next to Dannos.

Dannos felt around the bed, and below the sheets around where Midna had just been was a large, squishy lump- the source of the smell.

"Oh yeah... I might have gotten a little... Poopsy with the farting and all..." Midna said in a cute manner. Farting again.

Moaning again, Dannos got up from bed to go fetch some cleaning supplies, leaving Midna in the bed to continue her farting and giggling.


	5. Chapter 5

Dannos slowly woke up, once more in Midna's bed, happily stretching his arms as today was his day off, taking his time getting out of bed and walking out into the Twilight Palace, passing by a few Zant Hands still hard at work repairing his destroyed room, before running into good ol' Kanz.

"Oh, Kanz, you know where Midna's gone off to?" Dannos asked Kanz, who only stared at him in response

"...Umm, I believe she's... In the kitchen.." He replied, hesitantly "...Cooking..."

"Is that bad?" Dannos asked, looking at Kanz slightly confused

" _We'll have to wait and see.._ " Kanz mumbled, walking off to continue whatever he was doing

Ignoring that, Dannos walked off to the kitchen of the Twilight Palace, following the sound of breaking plates and the smell of Midna's horrible gas. Entering the kitchen, Dannos found that the place was in a complete mess, flour all over the walls, milk all over the tables, broken appliances everywhere and the air polluted by Midna's farting.

"Oh, well good morning sleepy head!" Midna said in a cheery manner to Dannos, covered in flour and rising up off the ground, before farting loudly and slipping again "You ruined my surprise!"

"...A destroyed kitchen?" Dannos asked, slightly annoyed

"No you idiot!" Midna replied unhappily, rising up towards Dannos and farting angrily "I wanted to repay you for your hard work lately by making pancakes!... But..."

Midna looked back at the horrible mess of the kitchen she made, turning back to Dannos and farting cutely, giggling as he stared at her impatiently

"...We're out of eggs..."

"Well then, I'll just go out and buy so-

"Can't do that." Midna replied, interrupting Dannos "No Cuccos in the Twilight Realm, no eggs in the Twilight Realm."

"..Then how the hell are we supposed to make pancakes?" Dannos asked Midna angrily, who thought for a moment before snapping her fingeres

"HYRULE!" Midna said triumphantly

"Wait wha-

"LETS GO DANNOS!" Midna interrupted again, grabbing Dannos by the hand and running off with him, constantly letting out farts along the way Dannos was forced to smell

.

.

.

"...Midna... What the hell is that thing?" Dannos asked, pointing at this gigantic portal Midna summoned out of god knows where

"That my dear Dannos is a mirror of twilight!" Midna said happily "It'll take us straight to the other mirror in Hyrule! We'll just grab some Cucco eggs and leave!"

"Midna I dont think this is a good ide-

Interrupting yet again, Midna grabbed Dannos and crammed his face into her massive behind, Dannos screaming in the dark crevice of her butt as his face was smothered by Midna's smelly, unwiped bottom, as Midna grunted before farting loudly, blowing Dannos out into the mirror of twilight's portal alongside a spray of her crap, before jumping in herself

The other end of the portal opened up somewhere random in Hyrule field, as Dannos dropped out, landing on his face. Dannos got up and wiped the slimy green crap of Midna off of his face before looking up, as Midna came out of the portal and landed directly on top of him, nearly crushing Dannos with her big butt as she farted once more

"Well! That was a softer landing then expected!" Midna exclaimed happily, rubbing her gigantic behind against the ground, not knowing she was crushing Dannos with her smelly ass "OH! Dannos! Im so sorry about that, I didnt see you there!" She panicked as Midna rose up off of Dannos, who lay there in the grass as flat as a pancake in the middle of a huge butt-shaped print in the ground

"M...Midna..? " Dannos asked, rising slowly "...We didnt come out of another mirror.."

"UHH... Ohh... Well... L-looks like I might have made a teensy weensy itty bitty liiiiitttle mistake Dan..." Midna admitted to Dannos innocently "That mirror of Twilight... I bought it off Ebay..."

"Midna... Im just so pissed I couldnt care less at this point.." Dannos said, cracking his back into place "Lets just get some damn Cucco eggs and find a way back home already" He continued, looking around at Hyrule field, it being the middle of the night

"Okay... We'll get right on that Dannos... But... I kind of have to..." Midna began

"What the hell could it be this... Time..." Dannos said as he peered at Midna, who held her finger against her lips with her legs crossed, wiggling her hips side to side "No... Not now Midna..."

"I have to use the little-girl's room..." She finished, blushing and now holding one hand to her big butt, with another between her legs as Midna continued her wiggling

"Uugh, #1 or #2?" Danu asked Midna, still quite annoyed

Midna let out a wet, deep pitched fart causing Dannos to pinch his nose from the horrid smell, as her legs began shaking and she blushed deeply, with one hand held up as "#1" and the other as "#2"

"Fine, just go in the river or some shit- I dont know" Dannos said impatiently, turning around and covering his ears to get some peace and quiet for once

Midna walked over to the nearby river and walked into it, the deepest point in the river just coming half way up her calves, as Midna squatted so that her butt just dipped into the water, sighing of relief as she urinated in the river. Suddenly, Midna began hearing a rustling sound from within the tall grass, looking around fearfully as Dannos remained completely oblivious to what was happening.

"W-who's there?..." Midna asked in a scared voice, still emptying her bladder nonetheless in the river

Out of the tall grass came a pack of Stalhounds, growling and slowly approaching Midna, who stopped peeing and could only stare at them in fear as they grew closer

"Uuuh, y-you guys really dont want to eat me! I-im all just fat and hot air! Come oooon! D-dont you just want to eat my buddy over there instead?" Midna asked in a scared manner, now approaching the 2nd part of her trip to the "little girl's room" as she began farting loudly and bubbly into the river

The ravenous Stalhounds began to grow faster as they approached Midna, who continued releasing smelly fear farts into the water before opening her eyes widely in shock

A loud, slimy sounding noise erupted from Midna's huge butt as she blushed again, farting a few more times as the Stalhounds realized she just pooped in the river, a big, green cloud of muck beginning to form in the water as they smelled the horrible scent coming from Midna's butt, causing the Stalhounds to all flee, leaving Midna to continue pooping in peace.

"You done yet?" Dannos asked turning around, shocked to see Midna walking away from the river, which was now a murky shade of green as she continued towards Dannos completely relieved, letting out a few small farts

"Yyyup!" Midna said proudly, finishing wiping her bottom with a few leaves she threw onto the ground "Ready to go Dan?"

"I dont really have a choice so-

"THEN WE'RE OFF!" Midna interrupted, once again grabbing Dannos and running off as poor Dannos moaned in annoyance


	6. Chapter 6

Our heroes Midna and Dannos made their way to Hyrule Castle Town in their search for Cucco eggs. Dannos walked along side the queen of the twilight realm, holding a large parasol over her and himself to protect themselves from the bright (and yet harmful) sunlight of the world. Calmly walking through the streets as their otherworldly appearances drew the attention of everyone around them, gasps, constant chatter, screams, and the occasional 'holy Hylia look at the ass on the big one!'. It was only thanks to Midna's loud, smelly farts that they were able to ward off the soldiers and perverts of castle town

"Midna, can we try to be quick about this? I dont think all this attention's exactly... desirable" Dannos asked Midna, tapping her to get her attention as the two made their way through a busy street

"Oh please Dan, try to have some fun! Its been ages since we've left the castle, and this is your first time in Hyrule remember? Come on, smell the roses already!" Midna said in a laid back manner, noticing they were being followed by a few street thugs "And plus, I kinda like all the attention~" Midna said naughtily, pretending to have dropped something as she took extra time in bending over, allowing the thugs a good view of her gigantic ass in all its glory, for the sake of being a tease. Midna then grunted as she farted loudly, scaring half of the entire street as the thugs turned and separated, the female Twili laughing happily as she fanned away the stench "Aw man that one was great! I can still smell it!" She said as she continued giggling

"Yes, just... Peachy..." Dannos said in an annoyed tone, lowering the parasol as the two entered a shaded part of the market

"Oooh! Look at those!" Midna said happily, dashing off towards a stand as she stared at the baskets of apples, taking one as she licked her lips, attempting to take a bite as the vendor snatched away the fruit

"Sorry to be a buzzkill ma'am, but Rupees first, apples second, otherwise, just keep on walking. We don'want any trouble" The vendor said firmly as he calmly lifted a crossbow from beneath his stall and rested it on the display, Midna staring blankly, entertained by the Hylian's attempt to threaten her, before smiling evilly

"Very well sir, if you wish to be so rude" Midna said in an out of character manner, proceeding to take back the apple and turn around so that her big butt was essentially blocking the stall, feeling her stomach churn as she grinned maliciously, bending forward slightly as her fuming big butt loomed over the apple baskets, directly in front of the vendor who stared in confusion

Midna held onto the apple she took as she then grunted, letting out a long, loud, and rancid fart that sounded wet in some parts, pushing hard and squinting as she blushed, splatting noises could be heard as the queen of twilight sharted all over the man's stall, her green crap sprayed over it all as she then sighed of relief, ripping another fart from her green smeared butthole as the vendor simply fell over, standing back upright as she took a bite from her apple, many people watching in a mixture of shock and fear

"Were you watching Dan? He had it coming!" Midna said in a happy go lucky manner as she rejoined her friend, who stood still looking at a Hylian sign, holding a translation book in the other hand "Uhh, hey, Dannos, you listening buddy?" Midna asked impatiently

"Here, they should have some eggs. If not our time here was a waste." Dannos said, ignoring Midna, closing his translating book and pointing at the sign he was reading "Chudley's Fine Goods and Fancy Trinkets Emporium"

"And what makes you think they got eggs in there?" Midna asked in a sassy manner, finishing her apple and throwing back the core

"Because its probably the last place in this entire town that you havent either destroyed or stunk up with your antics" Dannos said, pointing at Midna as he proceeded to the door "Now please my Queen, you're royalty so at least try to act like it in here" Dannos pleaded to Midna

Midna was about to give a response before her eyes widened, her stomach groaning strangely as she felt something moving within her bowels- whatever it was, it wasnt gas

"Uuuh, s-sure, lets just try to keep this quick, you know, like you said" Midna said, sounding very calm as she bit her lip, clenching her big buttcheeks as she felt a wet fart escape

Dannos and Midna entered the elegant store, taking in their surroundings, its beauty being comparable to that of the Twilight Realm's palace, their attention to its details being taken away by the vendor audibly clearing his throat

"May I ask what business you dirty barefooted hooligans have in my emporium?" Chudley the vendor asked in an impolite, yet proper tone

"Hooligans!? Look here budd-

Midna was silenced by her stomach gurgling loudly, causing her to cross her legs, letting out a small fart as Dannos held up his hand to the female Twili as if to say 'I got this'

"Pardon our appearance, we my good sir hail from a distant kingdom and are in search of goods of only the upmost quality, if you will." Dannos said in a shockingly professional manner, bowing politely, before holding his hand out towards Midna "You see, my queen-

"SHE is a QUEEN?" Chudley interrupted, raising an eyebrow "Dear Hylia how awful to be you two... Should this kingdom you speak of perhaps be the dumpster in the back?"

"OH NOW YO-

Midna was cut off again by her stomach, louder than before as her farts only became smellier and wetter, causing her to bend over in discomfort slightly, Dannos and Chudley looking over in confusion

"A-as I was saying, you wouldn't happen to have any Cucco eggs would you my good sir?" Dannos continued, striding confidently over towards the counter

"Cucco eggs? Surely you must be confused, we dont sell such trivial, common goods to such trivial, common folk such as yourself" Chudley replied calmly "Now please, I've had enough of your tomfoolery, so if you and your wide-load would be so kind as to-

 ** _"WIDE LOAD?"_** Midna shouted angrily, stomping her foot on the ground as she stood up straight, the few other patrons in the store looking on in shock as Chudley remained completely composed

Midna angrily marched over to Chudley as Dannos quickly and instinctively moved out of the way, the queen of twilight farting with each big step until she was directly before the counter, towering over Chudley and seething with anger

"I dont know WHO you think you are pal, but listen here! You can talk shit about my kingdom, you can talk shit about my servant, but _when you talk shit about an ass as great as the one on me, THEN you're really in for it!_ " Midna told Chudley threateningly, a final, low and wet fart escaping her huge rear as her stomach groaned again

Knowing this could only be calm before a storm, Dannos tried his hardest to evacuate the store of any innocent Hylians as he then shut the door and took out the parasol, hiding behind it like a shield

"And you know what buddy? I think this _wide load_ 's got a load it wants to share with you, so lemme show you just what I think about your uppity store!" Midna finished angrily, stepping up onto the counter until she truly towered over Chudley, the vendor just now starting to worry as his eyes widened, Midna turning around and squatting so that her massive butt hung directly inches away from Chudley, closing her eyes and grunting as

 _The following contains mature subjects and imagery not suitable for minors._

 _Viewer discretion is advised._

The happy people of Castle Town went about their day before the ground started shaking furiously, a loud, rumbling noise becoming audible as the town folk walked over to the emporium, leaning in to hear better before the front of the building exploded open in a cloud of Midna's reeking ass gas, bombing the entire town in the unbearable stench as the sound of the twilight queen ripping a loud, nasty fart emitted from the building's wreckage

As the dust cleared, Dannos lowered the parasol, caked in an equal layer of rubble and Midna's green crap, looking at what remained of the counter where Midna squatted, the back wall being completely splattered in the poop that erupted from the female Twili's big butt, all that remained of where Chudley stood being a mound of smelly, semi solid green poop from Midna's ass. The female Twili remained there on the counter briefly, sighing of relief and smiling lazily. A few more bubbly farts and mini turds onto the already massive dump later and she was all done, ripping down some of the remaining wall paper to wipe her smeared buttcrack before walking over to Dannos

"All done~!" Midna said cutely and innocently, smiling at Dannos as she let out a small poot

Dannos stared wide eyed at the wreckage Midna's dump did to the scenery around them, before turning back to the queen

"..."

"We should go"

And with that Dannos grabbed onto Midna's hand and dashed out of the ruined castle town


End file.
